Adulthood is a scam. We should tell this to our children.

We were in such a rush to grow up and we had no clue that we were, in fact, living the dream. When we were young we wanted to grow up, and when we became adults, we realized that happiness was easier to find in childhood. Growing up is overrated.  Now, being adults, we want to stay young in body and spirit and we are afraid of growing old.

Many of us want to be children again, and we look nostalgically to the past. I gaze at a child and I admire his innocence, energy, joy and his carefree. Children also have worries, and even if they are small, to them they seem big. If we could show to our children how small are their concerns and how much we miss being like them, could we make them enjoy more of it?

Perhaps if we told our children the truth about growing up, it would urge them to postpone the process and to remain at a mediocre intelligence and perception of the world. But aren’t we causing them harm if we let them believe in something that does not exist? I think that at least we should alleviate the disappointment. Better to know what to expect.

Remember when we were kids and we wanted to grow up? What was in our minds?

   We wanted to be free

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Because there were rules imposed by adults, I thought that, after I grew up, I would be the one to force rules or simply I would not. I could live without them.   

In fact, later I learned that they are not called rules and they are directions for each person to live a life as well as each sees fit. These rules are not written, they’re just mentally relived in every second by every parent. They think that’s the best way, but in front of some children the parents become the supreme judges.

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After adolescence we come across other written and unwritten rules, this time imposed by society. And so we realize that freedom was just a myth.   

What if we stopped from imposing rules on children and before saying “do not do that” or “it’s wrong “, we tried to bring an explanation not only to the child but to us too? What if we first analyze the situation, then decide what’s right and wrong?

   We were admiring the adults.

Painting by Frederick Sands Brunner
Adults had that hint of determined man, who knows what he wants from life and seemingly is never wrong. They were all smiling in my face and they all seemed very relaxed. Then, they suddenly would become serious when it came to work; they looked like professionals, and I was fascinated. They could do many more things, were smarter and jovial.

I admired their confidence, without knowing that I could be more self-confident than many of them. They weren’t determined, most of them just wanted to look that way. Not to mention the mistakes, adults make more and bigger mistakes, than a child. Adults also have no idea about what path to take, even if they talk so much about the importance of knowing what you want in life.

   We thought that it will be easy to fulfill our dreams when we grow up.

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When I was little I could dream about becoming anyone, and any job I wanted to have, they all seemed plausible. I remember that I often dreamed of becoming a doctor, detective, rock star or an entrepreneur with lots of money. I was undecided, but, in any depiction I would have put myself, the dream was plausible and even easy to reach.

I remember that at a higher age, somewhere around 14-15, I could see myself at 23 years in an infinite stars hotel, after an important transaction, standing in front of the windows, admiring the city at night. I don’t know why, but this was my favorite picture. Well, at 23 years I’m just a freelancer, I’m not full of money, nor do not stand in a 5 star hotel.

But it’s not wrong for children to dream. I think though that it would help them more in the future if we told them that their dreams are possible and achievable, but not as easy as they think. It would be good if we could inspire them to have more ambition to fight for their dream. Too many give up their dreams when they become adults.

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It’s all an illusion. The liberty, the determination, the bag of money at the door. In fact growing up itself is an illusion. We only wanted to reach that age when we thought that we will have it all. At the time we couldn’t say exactly at what age we will strike oil, and neither today, we can’t tell. 

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